Those stalwart Belgian prelates have really done it. Actually, they only have kind of done it. Who likes a half-baked waffle anyway?

Their patriarchal minds are still half-closed. Pity.

Although we all appreciate their attempt at blessing same-sex unions, one is forced to ask, “why should blessings be confined to them?” in other words, why blessings only for sodomites but not for everyone? After all, we all need accompaniment – except those, you know… Trads.

Of course, these blessings can’t be distributed without true accompaniment and discernment which ought to be accompanied by accompaniment. After all, we have standards. Fidelity is the word.

Just imagine what those close-minded Flems couldn’t imagine: arsonists who faithfully pledge their troth to a particular zip code; johns who promise exclusivity to their cocotte, thieves who refuse to steal from more than one store. But don’t lose hope, little flock. The God of surprises isn’t done with them.

— Fr. Cliff Ermatinger